[Disclaimer: If on reading, you feel like you have no idea what's going on, you probably missed Chapter 1. (go here for Chapter 1). If you read Chapter 1 and have still no idea what the heck this is all about - don't worry, we are both pretty much on the same page!]
Finding a nice little comfy seat at the back was supposed to be a really simple affair, but fate had something else in store for me - Company Orientations! Sitting in a hall, attending the company orientation on your first day makes you feel like you are back in college attending those dreadful lectures all over again, with one major difference – you actually have to be present this time! Thankfully, only physically though… In that hall, the mind wanders even further than in the bus- with-your-cell-phone-discharged scenario. So while I was supposed to be listening to how much dollars my company annually makes, I decided to focus my mind to a useful purpose and prepared a mental layout of the bus in my head (as shown below) and assigned myself a quest to find the perfect seat on it…
The Rest of Week 1:
Step one - Reconnaissance :
The plan for the rest of the week was to occupy the seat at the very back (in the Green area as per layout), as it was a vantage point for carrying out an in depth analysis and observe everything and everyone, for the remainder of the week. The bus layout was divided into a Red area (on the right side with 3 seats per row) and a Yellow area (on the left side with 2 seats per row). These were the seat-options being actually available behind the Line of Divide, with the seats exactly above the bus-tire eliminated for the obvious reasons. Both the Red and Yellow areas had their own pros and cons, so the plan was to narrow down to two seats by the end of the week - one from each area.
Day 2, Week 1 onwards, I started with noting the locations where each person boarded the bus, and the seating patterns followed by each individual so that I could find a seat which I could have for myself for the longest time possible. Having a seat to myself was important not because I have reclusive tendencies but because it ensures minimization of the aforementioned glares. It provides you with a true sense of freedom and you are free to tap, drum, yawn, stretch, hum, sleep, snort, drill, jiggle, wiggle, rattle… (you get the point) all you want.
Step Two - Elimination:
The subsequent point to observe was each individual’s preference regarding keeping the windows open. Now, the thing is, in order to survive inside a bus I need the window open - at all times! And all places! And all climates! Open windows are really necessary else I'd choke! Else I'd grow so restless as to choke the other guy who's not letting me open the window! Basically, Just one rule - Windows OPEN! Case CLOSED! (Well, Exception: Air-Conditioned Bus! Duh!) So, I’m pretty sure that even if I’m traveling in a bus in Antarctica at sub-zero temperatures with a heavy snowfall in progress, I’ll still keep the window open. Long story short, while grading a seat, it was obligatory that the person sitting beside me prefers to keep his window open. Bonus points, if the person sitting across has his window open too. Nothing like a nice cross ventilated air-flow in your face!
After that, I eliminated a bunch of other seats on somewhat temperamental observations. Seats with the following neighbours got the sack - a fat dude, a woman suffering from cold all year round, a chap who wore his hat inside the bus, a person who wore the same jacket every single day, a gal who shouted on her cell phone throughout the way, a guy who shouted on his cell phone throughout the way (At one brief moment, I did wonder if they were shouting at each other over the phone, but that was probably not the case) and so on for the following reasons respectively - he took up half of the next seat as well, Ugh! Snot, why would a sane person do something like that? , that's got to stink and lastly, that's just obnoxious! Finally, post the elimination phase, I was at last, all set with one seat singled out from each area (as shown in the layout), as Week 1 came to an end…
Week 2:
Step Three - Field Rehearsal:
After narrowing down to two seats in the first week, the idea was to actually try out both the seats for one week each and select the final spot. There are some things which you just can’t judge or analyze from a distance and have to be right in the field to experience.
Week 2, Day 1, I settled down on the Chosen Red Seat for the trial period. The seat, I soon realized had an added advantage of providing an excellent view, not from the window but a couple of seats diagonally across. (Cough!) But, alas! There was a huge problem that trumped everything else! Now, if there’s anything that surpasses my love for open windows, it is the hatred of having direct sunlight in my face. My innate hatred for the Sun goes a long way back and I could write an entire blog (actually, an entire book) just on this thing going on between the Sun and me. And it so happened that during my stint on the Chosen Red Seat, I realized that the right side of the bus faced the East for almost 70 percent of the journey, with the Sun glaring away to glory right in my face, rudely, all the way. This was reason enough to reject the red-seat by the end of Week 2.
So it came to be, that on Day 1 of Week 3, I sat in the Chosen Yellow Seat and instantly realized that this was the Chosen One. The seat satisfied a huge number of norms and criteria before it became the ultimate location. Thus ended my quest and I sat there, in that seat, happily ever after...
P.S. : All the characters and events mentioned are, in fact, real. Any resemblance to real persons or events may seem to be purely co-incidental, but I can assure you that it isn't.
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