Sunday, June 6, 2010

#Quotes

Its been a long time... with nothing to blog about! When I think of stuff to write in my blog these days, I draw a complete blank! I have nothing original, creative, witty to contribute for now. So I thought, what would certain Bollywood movie directors I know, do in such a scenario? What would a poor little Engineering student who fell asleep the night before his exam do? What would a graduate student who failed to do any research all semester do to complete his paper? What would a ... Well, moving on... Why, yes! The ‘Copy-Paste’ !!!

So here I am, doing the Ctrl+C – Ctrl+V thing! These are some of my most favourite quotes, one from each of the TV shows that I have seen (and loved) so far...

(In no particular order:)

The truth is, we hide so we can be found. We walk away to see who will follow. We cry to see who will wipe our tears away... And we get our hearts broken to see who will come fix them!
-Meredith Grey (Grey’s Anatomy)

I love Halloween! The one time of year when everyone wears a mask... Not just me! People think it's fun to pretend you're a monster... Me, I spend my life pretending I'm not...
-Dexter Morgan (Dexter)

Alright, brain! You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
-Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)

Screw you guys... I’m going home!
-Eric Cartman (South Park)
--LINK--

Peter!!! Haven’t I killed you before??
-Sylar (Heroes)

Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren't 'See Ya' then the third word will be 'Oh my god! My crotch! You've kicked me in the crotch!"
-Dr. Cox (Scrubs)

BURNNNNNNNNNNNN! You have the right to remain BURNED!
-Michael Kelso (That 70’s Show)
--LINK--

Gordo says it's always useful to confound your peers by NOT doing the thing that's expected of you. I have no idea if he's right but I figure if you're going to listen to anybody it might as well be a guy who spends an entire Saturday helping you tie-dye your sheets.
-Lizzie McGuire (Lizzie McGuire)

This is going to be LEGEND... Wait For It... and I hope you are not lactose-intolerant, because the second half of this word is... DARY!!! Legendary!
-Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)
--LINK--

Clark, did it ever occur to you that the hero of the story is... Sageeth?
-Lex Luthor (Smallville)

Yes, well, I’m polymerized tree sap and you’re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you.
-Dr. Sheldon Cooper (The Big Bang Theory)

Every once in a while, people step up. They rise above themselves. Sometimes they surprise you. And sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes. It can push pretty hard. But if you look close enough, you find hope in the words of children, in the bars of a song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you're lucky, I mean if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back.
-One Tree Hill

Do you know what would be the best way to wipe out all of human kind? Make all women telepathic because if they suddenly found out about the kind of stuff that goes on in our heads they'd kill us all on the spot.
-Jeff Murdock (Coupling)

"Reality is almost always wrong! Truth begins in lies!"
-Dr. Greg 'Everybody Lies' House (House M.D.)

P.S.: I couldn’t decide on a single quote from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. to write in here, because that would be really unfair to all the other quotes.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Short-Story # 1: X & Y - First Love...

X fell in love with Y the very first time he saw her...

The day began just like any other normal day at school. It was his first day in Third Grade and X reached his new classroom well before time. Peeping inside, he saw some other kids present, catching up with one another after the long summer break. As usual none of them paid him any heed as he entered. It didn’t bother him - he didn’t particularly care for any of them either. The kids preferred to leave him alone and he was absolutely content with it. Interacting with the dim-wits was a rather tedious activity for him anyway. X had always been a great deal smarter than other kids his age. He possessed an unusually analytical mind that made him a bit too intelligent for his age, and the problem was – he knew it! No surprise that he wasn’t too popular among his classmates.

X walked to his usual place and promptly settled down on the obviously empty first bench.
Geek! – thought the other kids.
Fools! – thought back X.

By the time the first bell rang, most of the kids had arrived and taken their places. That was when he saw her for the first time. She stood at the doorway, checking the sign at the door to make sure it was the right classroom. Seeing her, as she walked in, X experienced something like never before. All of a sudden, there was this knot in his stomach as he looked upon her and he was left gasping for breath in awe of her beauty. He suffered over a hundred other cliches that one is subjected to when one falls in love. He couldn’t help following her every move with his eyes as she came closer, mumbling something about being late on her first day. By the time he could recover from his trance, he was dimly aware that she was smiling and saying “Good Morning!” He opened his mouth to reply but his voice simply stuck in his throat and it was suddenly impossible to utter words. She gave him a look, which he interpreted as a mild scorn, before she moved on. “Great!”, he thought, “its been hardly three seconds and she hates me already!”

On his way home in the school-bus, X thought about her all the way. He had realized that she was not only breathtakingly beautiful, but also very smart - just like him. May be, even smarter than him! He was sure by now that he was in love. It had taken him not more than 5 minutes to arrive to that conclusion, after evaluating his reactions and associating his behaviour with the romantics he had seen in movies or read about in books. Now that it was established that he was one of them, he had no idea what to do next! He needed some advice about the matter, so he decided to discuss it out with the only friend he had...

“Dad! I need to speak to you about something. And its something very important!” X said to his Dad (who served as his friend at times of need) as soon as he reached home.
His father looked up from the newspaper and inquired, “Hello, son! What is it?”

Something very important probably meant this was another attempt for making him buy the Playstation.

“You see, there’s this big problem...” continued X.

Here it comes...

“...about love!”
Momentarily, his father was taken aback by this, but he soon recovered.

Of Course...Emotional blackmail...

“Oh! I get it! Yes, son! I do love you, you know that! But it still doesn’t mean I’m buying you that Playstation...”
“Dad!!! Its not about that! I’m serious!”

Its not! Wow! This really must be serious!

“Oh! Then go on, son!”
“Do you think it is normal, at my age, to fall in love?”
“Ha ha! Does this mean Einstien actually likes someone other than himself now...”
“Umm...sarcasm duly noted Dad! But that doesn’t answer my question.”, said X with a hint of impatience.
His father smiled and said, “Normal? Well, to be honest I’d say no! But then there is nothing normal about you, is there?” Then noticing that the impatience was increasing to a possibly critical level, he continued more seriously, “It doesn’t matter how normal it is, son! If you are in love, there is nothing wrong in it, irrespective of age. You see, love is ageless...”
“Thanks, Dad! I’m glad you said that. Its precisely what I was hoping to hear. I was a bit bothered at first... It felt weird somehow... But this is such a relief. So what do I do next?”
“You go talk to her of course... You have to give her a chance to know you and like you back.”
“And how do I know what to say to her?”
“That's what YOU have to figure out, son. Love is never easy...”
“Yeah...It sure isnt...”
“So do I get to know who the lucky girl is....”, started his father, but X was already half way up to his room.

For a guy who had the tendency to solve any problem coming his way in less than 5 minutes, it was rather depressing that in two days, he still couldn’t figure out what he was going to say to the love of his life. Moreover, when he was finally ready with it, it took him two more days just to gather up the courage to go and spill his guts out to her. So after four days of fretting, when his class was over, he made up his resolve and followed her as she left the classroom with other students. He went up to her and mustering all his strength blurted out, ‘Hi! I’m X....’
It was when she walked on without acknowledging his call that he realised that though his mouth had moved, he hadn’t managed to get any syllables out. He tried to make another valiant attempt, but his voice betrayed him. Some of the kids around him started sniggering, but he ignored them. He was appalled by the fact that a mere mental emotion could exert such precedence over routine and regular actions, somehow managing to physically jam his larynx, rendering him incapable of speech in her presence. He felt completely defeated – an altogether new feeling for him and it made him curse himself. And her too...

Oh! How I hate her... For making me love her so much!

The next day started off no better. He sat hopelessly at his desk, a lost cause, egging himself on and attempting all kinds of self-encouragement.
Come on! I can do this!!!
“Argh! Now I have started talking to myself!”, he cursed! If nothing else, it was the thought that he was rapidly turning into one of the idiots whom he so despised, which gave him the final thrust of much needed motivation. Today he would end this...

While he waited for the class to get over, time slowed down by epic proportions, even as his heartbeats catapulted to a frenzied pace. At long last, the bell rang, sounding just like the death-knell. It was time...
When the teacher wrapped up the class, cleaned the board, gathered all her books and taking her purse was about to leave the classroom, she heard X say...

“Miss Y! Hi! I’m X... If you could spare some time, there is something important I would like to talk to you about....”

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Bus-seat Hypothesis : Chapter 2

CONTINUED...

[Disclaimer: If on reading, you feel like you have no idea what's going on, you probably missed Chapter 1. (go here for Chapter 1). If you read Chapter 1 and have still no idea what the heck this is all about - don't worry, we are both pretty much on the same page!]

Finding a nice little comfy seat at the back was supposed to be a really simple affair, but fate had something else in store for me - Company Orientations! Sitting in a hall, attending the company orientation on your first day makes you feel like you are back in college attending those dreadful lectures all over again, with one major difference – you actually have to be present this time! Thankfully, only physically though… In that hall, the mind wanders even further than in the bus- with-your-cell-phone-discharged scenario. So while I was supposed to be listening to how much dollars my company annually makes, I decided to focus my mind to a useful purpose and prepared a mental layout of the bus in my head (as shown below) and assigned myself a quest to find the perfect seat on it…



The Rest of Week 1:

Step one - Reconnaissance :

The plan for the rest of the week was to occupy the seat at the very back (in the Green area as per layout), as it was a vantage point for carrying out an in depth analysis and observe everything and everyone, for the remainder of the week. The bus layout was divided into a Red area (on the right side with 3 seats per row) and a Yellow area (on the left side with 2 seats per row). These were the seat-options being actually available behind the Line of Divide, with the seats exactly above the bus-tire eliminated for the obvious reasons. Both the Red and Yellow areas had their own pros and cons, so the plan was to narrow down to two seats by the end of the week - one from each area.

Day 2, Week 1 onwards, I started with noting the locations where each person boarded the bus, and the seating patterns followed by each individual so that I could find a seat which I could have for myself for the longest time possible. Having a seat to myself was important not because I have reclusive tendencies but because it ensures minimization of the aforementioned glares. It provides you with a true sense of freedom and you are free to tap, drum, yawn, stretch, hum, sleep, snort, drill, jiggle, wiggle, rattle… (you get the point) all you want.

Step Two - Elimination:

The subsequent point to observe was each individual’s preference regarding keeping the windows open. Now, the thing is, in order to survive inside a bus I need the window open - at all times! And all places! And all climates! Open windows are really necessary else I'd choke! Else I'd grow so restless as to choke the other guy who's not letting me open the window! Basically, Just one rule - Windows OPEN! Case CLOSED! (Well, Exception: Air-Conditioned Bus! Duh!) So, I’m pretty sure that even if I’m traveling in a bus in Antarctica at sub-zero temperatures with a heavy snowfall in progress, I’ll still keep the window open. Long story short, while grading a seat, it was obligatory that the person sitting beside me prefers to keep his window open. Bonus points, if the person sitting across has his window open too. Nothing like a nice cross ventilated air-flow in your face!

After that, I eliminated a bunch of other seats on somewhat temperamental observations. Seats with the following neighbours got the sack - a fat dude, a woman suffering from cold all year round, a chap who wore his hat inside the bus, a person who wore the same jacket every single day, a gal who shouted on her cell phone throughout the way, a guy who shouted on his cell phone throughout the way (At one brief moment, I did wonder if they were shouting at each other over the phone, but that was probably not the case) and so on for the following reasons respectively - he took up half of the next seat as well, Ugh! Snot, why would a sane person do something like that? , that's got to stink and lastly, that's just obnoxious! Finally, post the elimination phase, I was at last, all set with one seat singled out from each area (as shown in the layout), as Week 1 came to an end…

Week 2:

Step Three - Field Rehearsal:

After narrowing down to two seats in the first week, the idea was to actually try out both the seats for one week each and select the final spot. There are some things which you just can’t judge or analyze from a distance and have to be right in the field to experience.

Week 2, Day 1, I settled down on the Chosen Red Seat for the trial period. The seat, I soon realized had an added advantage of providing an excellent view, not from the window but a couple of seats diagonally across. (Cough!) But, alas! There was a huge problem that trumped everything else! Now, if there’s anything that surpasses my love for open windows, it is the hatred of having direct sunlight in my face. My innate hatred for the Sun goes a long way back and I could write an entire blog (actually, an entire book) just on this thing going on between the Sun and me. And it so happened that during my stint on the Chosen Red Seat, I realized that the right side of the bus faced the East for almost 70 percent of the journey, with the Sun glaring away to glory right in my face, rudely, all the way. This was reason enough to reject the red-seat by the end of Week 2.

So it came to be, that on Day 1 of Week 3, I sat in the Chosen Yellow Seat and instantly realized that this was the Chosen One. The seat satisfied a huge number of norms and criteria before it became the ultimate location. Thus ended my quest and I sat there, in that seat, happily ever after...

P.S. : All the characters and events mentioned are, in fact, real. Any resemblance to real persons or events may seem to be purely co-incidental, but I can assure you that it isn't.

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Bus-seat Hypothesis : Chapter 1

Sitting in the seat of your company transport, with a discharged cell phone and absolutely nothing to do for over an hour, tends to force your mind to wander. During such frightful intervals of time, I’m left reminiscing over some really significant and meaningful issues, like for instance - how I came to locate the perfect seat for me in the bus. (Yeah! Like I said - meaningful (and frightful)!) What follows is a detailed account...

Day 1:

You do not give much thought while selecting a seat on your very first day. You just walk in, find a random empty seat at the front(front seats offer a less bumpy ride they say) and settle down, in all anxiety, preoccupied with worrying about your first day at office. What you do not expect at this point are the glares you are met with for doing so! Its funny how much you are glared at while in a bus and there is a range of actions which ensures that you are at the receiving end of one of those. The list includes, as I found out over a period of time - sitting at the front (as explained later), sitting beside a girl when there are other empty seats available, tapping your foot to a song you are listening to on your headphones, not taking the hint and shutting the window when someone sitting next to you starts frequently coughing/sneezing violently, frequently coughing/sneezing violently yourself, waking up abruptly from a peaceful sleep with a huge snort, waking someone else up from their peaceful sleep with your snort (or otherwise) and of course glaring at someone else for too long when they do something from this list. Long story short, its all those trifling actions that only make us human... But let’s not digress from the point. Coming back to being glared at for sitting at the front of the bus, apparently the seats at the front are reserved only for the ladies and aged employees and a certain highly posted manager, who for some reason refuses to go to the office in his own car and yet expects to preserve his dignity by sitting in the very first seat. Lesson learnt: The younger mere male mortals are to sit behind the Line of Divide.

On Day 1, I get down from the bus thinking, I need to find myself a nice, comfy seat at the back tomorrow...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Primordial Rains...

It was raining, just the right amount! Little drops of rain, only the ones left behind after the heavy shower, fell from the sky... The sky itself had cleared somewhat, leaving behind a wonderful radiant glow in the atmosphere. The gentle and cool wind was playfully teasing the wind chimes that hung in the terrace, and the wind chimes retorted in soft, sweet, soothing tones! An occasional lightning flashed somewhere far off and the murmur of the clouds that trailed it was somehow pleasant! It was perfect!

As I stood there at the door of my terrace, a lovely image suddenly flashed into my mind out of nowhere, like the occasional far off lightning... I was sitting there at a table with her, both of us sipping coffee and holding hands over the table. She was talking in her sweet voice and I was listening intently, gazing into her incredible hazel eyes. She seemed to have said something funny perhaps (It was just an image, you know, so there wasn't any audio) 'cause she was laughing her musical laugh, while I was smiling admiringly. It felt magical. The image was just a momentary flash, but it never passed away completely! It left back something, etched into my mind permenantly. May be it left behind a belief - a belief in LOVE...!!!

At the Outset...

Call it a New Year’s Resolution or blame it on the ample amount of free time available to me on my new job or the mere realization that struck me that I can blog better than at least half of the people out there, I finally came through, after a gazillion attempts and a few motivational episodes.

The blog has no fixed genre at all and is expected to be of the utmost random nature. Any modesty that comes up is purely coincidental and should be duly forgiven. It can get seriously mushy at times, so those who find it unbearable can skip those parts. I hope to keep blogging without getting sued or anything for as long as possible.

That’s All Folks...